As I sit in my comfortable home in the great white north, I feel a deep sense of foreboding fear settle over me.
It's election night in the US of A and I'm not gonna lie, I'm terrified of it.
While the implications are great, I feel that I need to illustrate just how I see things going.

If Trump wins there's a hush over the crowd as everyone realizes their collective stupidity. How could we elect another moron? Didn't we learn from Bush eight years ago, or have our collective hive minds forgotten that we think he's dumb? Oh dear, looks like we forgot.
After the quiet of the storm has passed, someone will ask, what's next?
Days after the election, I imagine fascist-era type propaganda being circulated about Hillary (who will somehow morph into a Jewish woman, complete with hook nose and money spilling from her pouch) and the man hunt for her head will commence. She'll find a safe haven in California until Trump decides that it should go back to Mexico and builds a wall around it and Oregon (those god damned hipsters! Communists! All of them!).

Following a small war of independence, New York will become it's own nation, evicting Trump and his Eastern European wife from their penthouse, loudly declaring Trump tower as the center of all guerrilla war. Heroic images of Ted Cruz will be splashed across FOX, the only American channel people now get (as the others were shut down for liberal ideals).

School children will pledge allegiance to the flag of America, and be reminded of the sacrifices their parents made so that the can 'live free.' Hillary has been spotted cavorting with Snowden in some cold, desolate part of Siberia. Canadians send Trudeau on a peace mission.

Putin declares war on America, finally, after months of deliberation. Trade embargoes have been put in place with all of the European nations in AND out of the EU, and Canada has now closed its borders to anyone with an American passport.

Anyone who smells of marijuana is placed in custody without trial. A kangaroo court of  hearings is undertaken by the new Justice Ted Cruz, his lizard-suit finally fixed after that terrifying handshake some months ago. Anyone who does not uphold party values is sent to California (or Oregon, ugh) as punishment.

The economy is in shambles. Trump has decided that imperialism isn't far removed from the real estate market and begins 'investing' in territories. Ontario is perplexingly annexed by the US (Canadians, as a whole, are unmoved by this [good riddance]).

The year 2020. An embattled America limps to the next election. Trump is dead, deposed by his own party after he insulted OPEC, again, for being 'towel-wearing ninnies.' Martial law has been enforced in all red-states as racial violence escalates.

Hopefully America will do the right thing and elect Bernie in a miraculous win (thanks to some carefully used Obliviation from the American Embassy of Magical Peoples lol). May freedom ring, my homies.

But seriously though, cut the shit. Giant Meteor 2016.

Labels: ffhgetspolitical

b; old enough to know better; attached.
college student of historical events, future educator. canadienne. i like to read, but i don't do it enough. i run. i like zombies. i'm obsessed with all things batman, except not batfleck. i'm a terrible video game player, but i'm getting better through attrition. i can play piano pretty good, though. the sound of city streets soothes me, but i love the silence of the forest. curious stargazer.

hipster | tumbl | tweet tweet
lainey | tfln | afp
chubs |

As I sit in my comfortable home in the great white north, I feel a deep sense of foreboding fear settle over me.
It's election night in the US of A and I'm not gonna lie, I'm terrified of it.
While the implications are great, I feel that I need to illustrate just how I see things going.

If Trump wins there's a hush over the crowd as everyone realizes their collective stupidity. How could we elect another moron? Didn't we learn from Bush eight years ago, or have our collective hive minds forgotten that we think he's dumb? Oh dear, looks like we forgot.
After the quiet of the storm has passed, someone will ask, what's next?
Days after the election, I imagine fascist-era type propaganda being circulated about Hillary (who will somehow morph into a Jewish woman, complete with hook nose and money spilling from her pouch) and the man hunt for her head will commence. She'll find a safe haven in California until Trump decides that it should go back to Mexico and builds a wall around it and Oregon (those god damned hipsters! Communists! All of them!).

Following a small war of independence, New York will become it's own nation, evicting Trump and his Eastern European wife from their penthouse, loudly declaring Trump tower as the center of all guerrilla war. Heroic images of Ted Cruz will be splashed across FOX, the only American channel people now get (as the others were shut down for liberal ideals).

School children will pledge allegiance to the flag of America, and be reminded of the sacrifices their parents made so that the can 'live free.' Hillary has been spotted cavorting with Snowden in some cold, desolate part of Siberia. Canadians send Trudeau on a peace mission.

Putin declares war on America, finally, after months of deliberation. Trade embargoes have been put in place with all of the European nations in AND out of the EU, and Canada has now closed its borders to anyone with an American passport.

Anyone who smells of marijuana is placed in custody without trial. A kangaroo court of  hearings is undertaken by the new Justice Ted Cruz, his lizard-suit finally fixed after that terrifying handshake some months ago. Anyone who does not uphold party values is sent to California (or Oregon, ugh) as punishment.

The economy is in shambles. Trump has decided that imperialism isn't far removed from the real estate market and begins 'investing' in territories. Ontario is perplexingly annexed by the US (Canadians, as a whole, are unmoved by this [good riddance]).

The year 2020. An embattled America limps to the next election. Trump is dead, deposed by his own party after he insulted OPEC, again, for being 'towel-wearing ninnies.' Martial law has been enforced in all red-states as racial violence escalates.

Hopefully America will do the right thing and elect Bernie in a miraculous win (thanks to some carefully used Obliviation from the American Embassy of Magical Peoples lol). May freedom ring, my homies.

But seriously though, cut the shit. Giant Meteor 2016.

Labels: ffhgetspolitical