i firmly believe that everyone can find themselves inside of fiction at some point in their lives.
this sounds fucking ridiculous when i type it, but bear with me. i'm having some difficulty working through my own thoughts verbally recently so i'm trying to work through thoughts written so i can make sense of everything, and for everyone, because according to my history professor, i don't make any sense. so fuck you, scott. i'm trying to make sense.

so, for my next trick, an example of what-the-hell-i'm-talking-about

tonight i realized that i have my own personal severus snape, and i am lily potter (nee evans).
i had a friend who i grew up with, who was my very best friend. he challenged me, and forced me to be a better version of myself (though in retrospect i think he made me less of me and more like him but whatever, poh-tay-toh poh-tah-toe), both academically and socially. we intermingled with the correct people; we had the right friends. well, he did. i often found myself in the company of people he did not approve. and while i can't be certain they were not respectable persons or he was just a dick (hindsight) i'm going to assume that he only had my best interest at heart.

we went to different high schools. i wanted to escape the people i'd gone to junior high with because it seemed easy to go where they were going. we sort of fell out of touch then, but we still made the effort. because he didn't know my friends at the time, he couldn't necessarily make any comments either way (but he always did). we were still friends outside of high school too.

ten years after we've graduated, three years since we last spoke, i can honestly say that he was a slytherin to my gryffindor. he didn't want me to date james potter. he called me a mudblood. he joined the death eaters.

in less nerdy words, he didn't like the choices i made, he said some things that weren't the nicest, and to me, he joined the ranks of the people i don't want in my life.

you see, when he came to my grampa's funeral (how he got invited i don't remember and, quite frankly, wish hadn't happened) he said some things about me, and my SO that i wasn't quite right with. he'd always been on my case about academics, and in some convoluted way assumed that i wasn't getting the grades i wanted/needed because of my newly acquired significant other, and that maybe he wasn't smart enough for me.

while i'll never deny that maybe i'm dating below my pay grade intellectually (but honestly, it's debatable because he lacks where i have strengths and vice versa, it's a nice complement PLUS i find most of my academic contemporaries to be fucking stuck up pieces of shit that i would rather set alight than fuck), no one has the fucking right to say that to me. ESPECIALLY AT MY GRAMPAS FUNERAL. like fuck you, you bmw dental software selling HACK. go hang out with your 18 year old (looking) waif of a girlfriend, chum on the fairway with people that are only using you for networking possibilities. SEE HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE AND SEE THAT THE BOY WHO WANTED TO BE A HUMAN RIGHTS LAWYER SOLD THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HE LIKES NICE CARS.

sometimes i'm beyond happy that no one knows about this blog. but secretly, deep, deep down inside i want someone to read it and be like oh my god, i know who she's talking about and she's totally right about him, that fucking git.

everyone has their own fictional character. maybe someone has a heathcliff (i have never read wuthering heights and i don't plan on it in this lifetime), or insert-character-name-here. you identify with their problems, you can totally understand what's going on because you've lived it, or are living it. you are that character.

i am lily potter. and i have a severus snape.

only, thankfully, i highly doubt that he'll ever save my son from impending death multiple times, only because i know that would take too much time away from golf for him.

b; old enough to know better; attached.
college student of historical events, future educator. canadienne. i like to read, but i don't do it enough. i run. i like zombies. i'm obsessed with all things batman, except not batfleck. i'm a terrible video game player, but i'm getting better through attrition. i can play piano pretty good, though. the sound of city streets soothes me, but i love the silence of the forest. curious stargazer.

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lainey | tfln | afp
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i firmly believe that everyone can find themselves inside of fiction at some point in their lives.
this sounds fucking ridiculous when i type it, but bear with me. i'm having some difficulty working through my own thoughts verbally recently so i'm trying to work through thoughts written so i can make sense of everything, and for everyone, because according to my history professor, i don't make any sense. so fuck you, scott. i'm trying to make sense.

so, for my next trick, an example of what-the-hell-i'm-talking-about

tonight i realized that i have my own personal severus snape, and i am lily potter (nee evans).
i had a friend who i grew up with, who was my very best friend. he challenged me, and forced me to be a better version of myself (though in retrospect i think he made me less of me and more like him but whatever, poh-tay-toh poh-tah-toe), both academically and socially. we intermingled with the correct people; we had the right friends. well, he did. i often found myself in the company of people he did not approve. and while i can't be certain they were not respectable persons or he was just a dick (hindsight) i'm going to assume that he only had my best interest at heart.

we went to different high schools. i wanted to escape the people i'd gone to junior high with because it seemed easy to go where they were going. we sort of fell out of touch then, but we still made the effort. because he didn't know my friends at the time, he couldn't necessarily make any comments either way (but he always did). we were still friends outside of high school too.

ten years after we've graduated, three years since we last spoke, i can honestly say that he was a slytherin to my gryffindor. he didn't want me to date james potter. he called me a mudblood. he joined the death eaters.

in less nerdy words, he didn't like the choices i made, he said some things that weren't the nicest, and to me, he joined the ranks of the people i don't want in my life.

you see, when he came to my grampa's funeral (how he got invited i don't remember and, quite frankly, wish hadn't happened) he said some things about me, and my SO that i wasn't quite right with. he'd always been on my case about academics, and in some convoluted way assumed that i wasn't getting the grades i wanted/needed because of my newly acquired significant other, and that maybe he wasn't smart enough for me.

while i'll never deny that maybe i'm dating below my pay grade intellectually (but honestly, it's debatable because he lacks where i have strengths and vice versa, it's a nice complement PLUS i find most of my academic contemporaries to be fucking stuck up pieces of shit that i would rather set alight than fuck), no one has the fucking right to say that to me. ESPECIALLY AT MY GRAMPAS FUNERAL. like fuck you, you bmw dental software selling HACK. go hang out with your 18 year old (looking) waif of a girlfriend, chum on the fairway with people that are only using you for networking possibilities. SEE HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE AND SEE THAT THE BOY WHO WANTED TO BE A HUMAN RIGHTS LAWYER SOLD THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE HE LIKES NICE CARS.

sometimes i'm beyond happy that no one knows about this blog. but secretly, deep, deep down inside i want someone to read it and be like oh my god, i know who she's talking about and she's totally right about him, that fucking git.

everyone has their own fictional character. maybe someone has a heathcliff (i have never read wuthering heights and i don't plan on it in this lifetime), or insert-character-name-here. you identify with their problems, you can totally understand what's going on because you've lived it, or are living it. you are that character.

i am lily potter. and i have a severus snape.

only, thankfully, i highly doubt that he'll ever save my son from impending death multiple times, only because i know that would take too much time away from golf for him.