i think at this point, with all the shite i've written in here over the last 8 years (?), i think it's time to come clean about my filthy, rotten, no good habit.

i read fanfiction.

i know. the collective eye roll was, admittedly, deserved. i mean hello this whole blog started out as a twilight-induced-hysteria-turned-insanity thing, so the next logical conclusion is that obviously, you tart, fanfiction was never too far out of the realm of possibility.

so here i am, two days into a fic. it's a damn good one, like stay up 2 days straight basically to read the fucking thing good. like i want to shake the writers hand and tell them how fucking moved i am by what they're writing.

but i'm an idiot. i never look at things-- i'm oblivious. there are things that must be looked at; things that must be considered if one were to get involved in fanfiction reading somewhat seriously.

update dates are important in the world of fanfiction.

so, day two of not sleeping (basically) and here we are, chapter 32. update date: 2014.

20fucking14

i'm well aware of the year, as it is 2016 (how could i forget i've been out of high school for 10 years and i've managed to accomplish nothing!!!!!! [probably because i'm too busy reading fanfiction or going to nyc or generally being a bint about the whole endeavor])

but motherfuckingbullshitassholebitchcocktits!

i was so invested in the relationship between the characters. it was a beautiful, crazy love story about a love sick boy and an insane girl who needed a lot of help coming to grips with her feelings for said lovesick boy (ok ok it's a harry potter fanfiction and it's about lily and james and fuck me i'm stung about talking about it because... well.... you'll see)

AND THEN I GET TO READ THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER AND THAT THERE WAS A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE [WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, GENERAL HOSPITAL-- HOGWARTS EDITION?!] AND THEN REALIZE THAT I CAN NO LONGER SCROLL DOWN AND THAT IT'S OVER AND I'M LEFT WITH THIS VOID I CAN'T FILL!?!

i'm choked. like honest to fucking god i'm choked. i creeped the interwebz and found the author, and unlike many a fanfiction, she appears to be earnest in her ideals for the story. she's not abandoned it, which is good for me (mostly my sanity). and she still exists, which was more of my concern because these writers of good stories seem to poof off the face of the planet usually. this is not my first rodeo.

i'm a greedy fucking monster (who is currently putting off v important school work to read this, be outraged by it and to write in here [i'm the worst of all procrastinators]) who wants everything right now. i have no reason to be incensed, no right to be indignant that i can't click the next button. no amount of me being indignant and huffy and just fucking awful to some stranger because i didn't get my own way is going to make anything i want to happen.

but jesusfuckingchristonacracker i'm livid.

have you ever wanted to punch someone through a computer screen?! because before tonight/today/thisfuckingweekend i've never felt that i was that irrational. now i understand why people carry baseball bats in their vehicles-- they're clearly angry about non-updated fanfiction.

JESUS I'M FUCKING ANGRY AND THERE'S NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT IT EXCEPT BITCH AND GET ALL FLUSTERED AT SOMETHING AS FUCKING TRITE AS FUCKING FAN FICTION.

i'm really not in the mood to review holocaust literature, which is what i should have been doing all this week but didn't because, well, i'm an impulsive idiot who's a sucker for a good story (and any distraction if i'm being frank) and gosh darnit this was probably one of the best.

like fuck me.

b; old enough to know better; attached.
college student of historical events, future educator. canadienne. i like to read, but i don't do it enough. i run. i like zombies. i'm obsessed with all things batman, except not batfleck. i'm a terrible video game player, but i'm getting better through attrition. i can play piano pretty good, though. the sound of city streets soothes me, but i love the silence of the forest. curious stargazer.

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i think at this point, with all the shite i've written in here over the last 8 years (?), i think it's time to come clean about my filthy, rotten, no good habit.

i read fanfiction.

i know. the collective eye roll was, admittedly, deserved. i mean hello this whole blog started out as a twilight-induced-hysteria-turned-insanity thing, so the next logical conclusion is that obviously, you tart, fanfiction was never too far out of the realm of possibility.

so here i am, two days into a fic. it's a damn good one, like stay up 2 days straight basically to read the fucking thing good. like i want to shake the writers hand and tell them how fucking moved i am by what they're writing.

but i'm an idiot. i never look at things-- i'm oblivious. there are things that must be looked at; things that must be considered if one were to get involved in fanfiction reading somewhat seriously.

update dates are important in the world of fanfiction.

so, day two of not sleeping (basically) and here we are, chapter 32. update date: 2014.

20fucking14

i'm well aware of the year, as it is 2016 (how could i forget i've been out of high school for 10 years and i've managed to accomplish nothing!!!!!! [probably because i'm too busy reading fanfiction or going to nyc or generally being a bint about the whole endeavor])

but motherfuckingbullshitassholebitchcocktits!

i was so invested in the relationship between the characters. it was a beautiful, crazy love story about a love sick boy and an insane girl who needed a lot of help coming to grips with her feelings for said lovesick boy (ok ok it's a harry potter fanfiction and it's about lily and james and fuck me i'm stung about talking about it because... well.... you'll see)

AND THEN I GET TO READ THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER AND THAT THERE WAS A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE [WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, GENERAL HOSPITAL-- HOGWARTS EDITION?!] AND THEN REALIZE THAT I CAN NO LONGER SCROLL DOWN AND THAT IT'S OVER AND I'M LEFT WITH THIS VOID I CAN'T FILL!?!

i'm choked. like honest to fucking god i'm choked. i creeped the interwebz and found the author, and unlike many a fanfiction, she appears to be earnest in her ideals for the story. she's not abandoned it, which is good for me (mostly my sanity). and she still exists, which was more of my concern because these writers of good stories seem to poof off the face of the planet usually. this is not my first rodeo.

i'm a greedy fucking monster (who is currently putting off v important school work to read this, be outraged by it and to write in here [i'm the worst of all procrastinators]) who wants everything right now. i have no reason to be incensed, no right to be indignant that i can't click the next button. no amount of me being indignant and huffy and just fucking awful to some stranger because i didn't get my own way is going to make anything i want to happen.

but jesusfuckingchristonacracker i'm livid.

have you ever wanted to punch someone through a computer screen?! because before tonight/today/thisfuckingweekend i've never felt that i was that irrational. now i understand why people carry baseball bats in their vehicles-- they're clearly angry about non-updated fanfiction.

JESUS I'M FUCKING ANGRY AND THERE'S NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT IT EXCEPT BITCH AND GET ALL FLUSTERED AT SOMETHING AS FUCKING TRITE AS FUCKING FAN FICTION.

i'm really not in the mood to review holocaust literature, which is what i should have been doing all this week but didn't because, well, i'm an impulsive idiot who's a sucker for a good story (and any distraction if i'm being frank) and gosh darnit this was probably one of the best.

like fuck me.