awhile ago i pondered the stress in my life and why i feel so out of sorts. i still haven't come up with anything that i would consider an argument for nor any against, just a lot of confusion.

the weather is dragging me down. this time last year it was warm and sunny, a direct reflection of my mood. this year it's dreary, cold and rainy, again much like my mood. i haven't got it together. i sleep a lot, more than i need to that's for sure.

i can't sink my teeth into this semester. i've sat through one lecture since the semester started. i love my classes, or the thought of them. i just don't really want to expend the energy to go. not that i have any energy to get excited about them in the first place.

ugh. it frustrates me that i'm so sluggish and unmotivated. i'm finally making strides at the mountain that is my degree qualifications and here i am in the computer lab, avoiding my first class (a required class, naturally) because i was two minutes late and there were no seats in the back. when did i become such a pansy? i need to bunker down and just get the job done; grin and bear it if you will. i want to be finished. i want my degree and i want to start working. i don't want to waste time anymore, but my actions don't necessarily reflect what i want, which is weird: i control my actions. perhaps subconsciously my brain is telling me it's fatigued of just being? i love to think! ugh, this has got me going around in circles, this laziness.

i just need to sort my shit out. i should really get on a plan to better structure my future. so... written proof. I will make it better, tomorrow. I think today's already a wash haha.

b; old enough to know better; attached.
college student of historical events, future educator. canadienne. i like to read, but i don't do it enough. i run. i like zombies. i'm obsessed with all things batman, except not batfleck. i'm a terrible video game player, but i'm getting better through attrition. i can play piano pretty good, though. the sound of city streets soothes me, but i love the silence of the forest. curious stargazer.

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awhile ago i pondered the stress in my life and why i feel so out of sorts. i still haven't come up with anything that i would consider an argument for nor any against, just a lot of confusion.

the weather is dragging me down. this time last year it was warm and sunny, a direct reflection of my mood. this year it's dreary, cold and rainy, again much like my mood. i haven't got it together. i sleep a lot, more than i need to that's for sure.

i can't sink my teeth into this semester. i've sat through one lecture since the semester started. i love my classes, or the thought of them. i just don't really want to expend the energy to go. not that i have any energy to get excited about them in the first place.

ugh. it frustrates me that i'm so sluggish and unmotivated. i'm finally making strides at the mountain that is my degree qualifications and here i am in the computer lab, avoiding my first class (a required class, naturally) because i was two minutes late and there were no seats in the back. when did i become such a pansy? i need to bunker down and just get the job done; grin and bear it if you will. i want to be finished. i want my degree and i want to start working. i don't want to waste time anymore, but my actions don't necessarily reflect what i want, which is weird: i control my actions. perhaps subconsciously my brain is telling me it's fatigued of just being? i love to think! ugh, this has got me going around in circles, this laziness.

i just need to sort my shit out. i should really get on a plan to better structure my future. so... written proof. I will make it better, tomorrow. I think today's already a wash haha.