a/n: i didn't even remember this year. i didn't want to.
background to this disgustingly sad piece: a friend of mine died in a car accident while he was on holiday in his home country of south africa. his was the first death i'd experienced that wasn't due to illness or old age and it rocked me, hard. i can't say we were the best of friends because i don't have him here to tell me yes or no to that statement, i just know he was a friend to me. so when i write things like this, it's not because i'm sad. it's because in the brief time we talked i never told him everything i should have. then again, who does tell everyone around them just how much they mean until it's too late?

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it came and went. just another day, so it would seem. strange occurances aside-- the times have a way of repeating themselves for the benefit of being able to bring about pain or happiness with a familiar scent or scene. i thought i was over it. i thought i could face headlong into the abyss that he left behind and hold my head up high. i was wrong. i needed him more than i needed to remember him. i needed to see his face, hear his laugh. listen to the lilt of his voice when he wanted to be serious with me. i wasn't ready to say goodbye, but it's not like i got a chance. sometimes i hope i'll see you in my dreams, but it never comes true; and that hurts the most. the fact that i know for certain that you're not with me drives the spike that was once a thorn deeper into my chest. i miss you everyday, and it sucks because i know i shouldn't. life is meant to move on, for the dead to be revered, not cursed back into existence by someone who should be stronger than this. we were just friends... but that doesn't explain the emptiness when i think about what my life is missing.


buddy, i miss you. simple. as. that.

the only thing i have to look forward to is the glimmer of hope that i will one day get to hear your voice again, see that smiling face. i'll want to hear all about just how much i screwed up, but to know that you were watching will be enough for me.

love you big guy...

b; old enough to know better; attached.
college student of historical events, future educator. canadienne. i like to read, but i don't do it enough. i run. i like zombies. i'm obsessed with all things batman, except not batfleck. i'm a terrible video game player, but i'm getting better through attrition. i can play piano pretty good, though. the sound of city streets soothes me, but i love the silence of the forest. curious stargazer.

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a/n: i didn't even remember this year. i didn't want to.
background to this disgustingly sad piece: a friend of mine died in a car accident while he was on holiday in his home country of south africa. his was the first death i'd experienced that wasn't due to illness or old age and it rocked me, hard. i can't say we were the best of friends because i don't have him here to tell me yes or no to that statement, i just know he was a friend to me. so when i write things like this, it's not because i'm sad. it's because in the brief time we talked i never told him everything i should have. then again, who does tell everyone around them just how much they mean until it's too late?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

it came and went. just another day, so it would seem. strange occurances aside-- the times have a way of repeating themselves for the benefit of being able to bring about pain or happiness with a familiar scent or scene. i thought i was over it. i thought i could face headlong into the abyss that he left behind and hold my head up high. i was wrong. i needed him more than i needed to remember him. i needed to see his face, hear his laugh. listen to the lilt of his voice when he wanted to be serious with me. i wasn't ready to say goodbye, but it's not like i got a chance. sometimes i hope i'll see you in my dreams, but it never comes true; and that hurts the most. the fact that i know for certain that you're not with me drives the spike that was once a thorn deeper into my chest. i miss you everyday, and it sucks because i know i shouldn't. life is meant to move on, for the dead to be revered, not cursed back into existence by someone who should be stronger than this. we were just friends... but that doesn't explain the emptiness when i think about what my life is missing.


buddy, i miss you. simple. as. that.

the only thing i have to look forward to is the glimmer of hope that i will one day get to hear your voice again, see that smiling face. i'll want to hear all about just how much i screwed up, but to know that you were watching will be enough for me.

love you big guy...