Monday, November 30, 2009
1:43 PM ● avoidance tactics

you know it's bad when you're sitting in the library, research spread out in a cluster around you and you keep staring at the wall since it's more interesting.
uh, hi. term paper due in less than twenty-four hours. and, thanks to you're douche-baggery you're still not finished all of the research. good one.
dick weed.

uuuuuuuuuuuuugh. i'm fucked.

i left my ipod in my car and it's currently snowing and i'm not wearing any socks. i don't want to walk to my car again. and my laptop weighs a metric tonne and well, i hate carrying it. i'm such a lame piece of shit, but i'm so not feeling this paper right now that i'm trying to entertain myself with anything other than doing what i'm supposed to be doing. i don't even care how loud i type right now... people can FUCK OFF. i'm so so so sick of this library. how am i going to get through the next 2 years of school if i can't focus long enough to write ONE term paper?
questions i'll answer later. i don't care enough right now.
i really want my ipod... fuck.

i would also like the cold draft to go away. that'd be nice. i'd also like someone to write my paper for me, complete with footnotes and a bibilography. i can't pay you anything but my gratitude; i hope it's enough.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

there needs to be a more punch-packing word to use right now... fuck isn't cutting it right now. it's not powerful enough. maybe in all-caps it'll look more impactful. FUCK.
nope. still not good enough.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuuck my life.

so far since posting this initially i've added to it twice. my hate on for anything historical right now is pretty high. i'd like to say FUCK WINTER too just because it seems like the right thing to say.
i finished a chapter of my stupid story. i bought two tracks on itunes, a personal first. i was an itunes purchase download virgin up until an hour or so ago. now i feel like a dirty whore of legally downloaded song bliss. makes up for the countless millions i've downloaded for free. i feel like i've made a difference, somehow.
i tried to pick a picture to be my profile for facebook, but none seemed to scream: this is the LIFE bitches. so i'll keep the one of me kissing my lover emily while we were high and drunk on a downtown dallas street outside our hotel. i need new pictures.
HI! IT'S FREEZING IN HERE. I'D LIKE GLOVES.
i'm afraid to leave my laptop in the library while i run out and get a coffee to pour on my feet so i can feel them. and then another coffee to keep me awake and somewhat focused. HA! focus... yeeeah right. that word isn't in my vocabulary.
i read my friends bi-monthly column on a website i refuse to put on here, simply because i'm embarrassed i even went there. but i love bears, and i read his work. it's cute. i can't wait until he writes more!
i've been on facebook for the last 2 hours. i have class in half an hour that i'm not going to go to. i don't really care about that class in the first place, so really, going would just be a waste of my time.
MY GOD I NEED CAFFEINE! or someone to taser me when i get off track. so... constantly?
i'll keep adding to this as i find more ways to avoid writing my paper even longer... 21 hours...

xxxxxx

(live)