so here's the deal, world. i have a bone to pick with you...

you make gorgeous mcsexy face stop saying he can't get laid (when clearly he is swimming in a sea of pooty-tang) in NYC (then moments later leave with a hot brunnett who ISN'T ME i may add). what straight girl with a pulse and working sexual organs wouldn't want to do the horizontal tango (tangle the bedsheets, bump uglies, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing etc., etc...) with this person? this human embodiment of near perfection?

ok, maybe not perfection. he is kind of dumb. and apparently a whore. but no one is perfect. and having sex often makes you healthier. a proven scientific fact. hence why whores always look so healthy. i'm looking at you hayden pattinere...

THEN you put sir zeffron in a magazine with a nekked woman all in the same week? and he doesn't look like he's going to be ill being that near to a vagina, which makes this photo even more confusing. where's the beard, mr. zefron? the model acutally has a mirror or a picture of hugh jackman taped to her face that they photoshopped out, right? i mean, i feel bad for the poor naked model. not only is she being held by someone who could easily (probably) be her younger brother, but she also has copious amounts of sand in her crack, and tender areas.

who thought sand was sexy?!

they clearly did not ask the only female in this picture if she was consenting. then again, the female model was probably a surprise. they did, afterall, want sir efron not to run away screaming to the jobros.

i'm waiting for the bomb shelter in my backyard to be built. then i can hide in there for the meltdown of the world. fuck nuclear holocausts, it's zefon not being gay and rob being a filthy liar about not getting tail that will end the world simultaneously.

so here's the deal, world. i have a bone to pick with you...

you make gorgeous mcsexy face stop saying he can't get laid (when clearly he is swimming in a sea of pooty-tang) in NYC (then moments later leave with a hot brunnett who ISN'T ME i may add). what straight girl with a pulse and working sexual organs wouldn't want to do the horizontal tango (tangle the bedsheets, bump uglies, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing etc., etc...) with this person? this human embodiment of near perfection?

ok, maybe not perfection. he is kind of dumb. and apparently a whore. but no one is perfect. and having sex often makes you healthier. a proven scientific fact. hence why whores always look so healthy. i'm looking at you hayden pattinere...

THEN you put sir zeffron in a magazine with a nekked woman all in the same week? and he doesn't look like he's going to be ill being that near to a vagina, which makes this photo even more confusing. where's the beard, mr. zefron? the model acutally has a mirror or a picture of hugh jackman taped to her face that they photoshopped out, right? i mean, i feel bad for the poor naked model. not only is she being held by someone who could easily (probably) be her younger brother, but she also has copious amounts of sand in her crack, and tender areas.

who thought sand was sexy?!

they clearly did not ask the only female in this picture if she was consenting. then again, the female model was probably a surprise. they did, afterall, want sir efron not to run away screaming to the jobros.

i'm waiting for the bomb shelter in my backyard to be built. then i can hide in there for the meltdown of the world. fuck nuclear holocausts, it's zefon not being gay and rob being a filthy liar about not getting tail that will end the world simultaneously.